The one-of-a-kind, interwoven gold wedding band is lost somewhere in Mark Braiman’s backyard in Cazenovia. It slipped off his finger two years ago when Braiman and his spouse were mulching fallen tree branches.
And after two summers of fruitless searching with a rented metal detector, Braiman is, finally, considering a replacement.
“It really is just a symbol of my marriage. The important thing is that we know we are married.” (Mark Braiman)
And just as important, Braiman points out, is the state of New York knows they are married. Braiman and his spouse, Alan Stillman, are a same-sex married couple. They are living in the only state that does not allow same-sex marriages, but recognizes same-sex marriages performed elsewhere.
They, along with an estimated 49,000 homosexual couples in New York, are at the heart of the nation’s and the state’s continuing debate over same-sex marriage. Some of the debate’s key developments:
- Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage in 2004 through a court interpretation of the state’s Constitution.
- Gay marriage was legal in California until the November 4th election when voters passed an amendment banning same-sex marriage.
- Arizona and Florida also passed measures banning same-sex marriage on November 4th.
- Connecticut’s Supreme Court ruled on October 10, 2008, that same-sex couples have the right to marry. Since then, Connecticut voters also have supported same-sex marriage by rejecting a constitutional ban on it.
In 2007, the New York State Assembly passed legislation to legalize gay marriage 85-61. But the measure failed to make it to the Senate floor. Governor David Paterson, a Democrat, has promised to sign legislation if the Assembly and Senate pass a bill to legalize gay marriage.
The New York State Senate is now in control of the Democrats, who generally favor equal rights for gays and lesbians. But the issue remains politically volatile and legislation is uncertain. The issue has also been caught up in internal Democratic politics.
Four Democratic state senators, for example, are aligned with the Republicans to oppose same-sex marriage. Democratic State Senator Ruben Diaz Sr. of the Bronx had threatened to withhold support from potential majority leader, Malcolm A. Smith, if Smith would allow a same-sex marriage bill to come to a vote. On Dec. 5, the two reportedly settled their dispute with Smith becoming senate president pro tem and Diaz announcing he had won assurances that gay marriage will not come to a vote in 2009.
But both supporters and opponents of same-sex marriage predict the issue will come up again in the legislature sooner rather than later.
Jason McGuire is legislative director of New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms, a conservative organization representing over 200 churches and Christian groups in New York and an opponent to same-sex marriage.
He said he worries that same-sex marriage could be legalized as early as 2009.
“New York is quite a prize because this is the first state where it looks possible to have a state pass this issue legislatively, not judicially as in California, Massachusetts, and Connecticut. So there’s going to be a full-court press from supporters to get this legislation passed.” (Jason McGuire, legislative director for New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms)
Opposition to same-sex marriage has an argument rooted in biblical, historical, and social science perspectives. Some opponents suggest legal same-sex marriage will open the door to teaching same-sex family structure and homosexuality in public school sex education programs, legalizing polygamy, and raising children in a same-sex marriage household. McGuire frames that perspective this way:
“Marriage is a stabilizing factor for society. There’s never a detriment to having too many marriages. But the primary purpose, the ideal, is to raise children with a biological mother and biological father. Homosexual couples cannot reproduce, so their marriage structure is saying that mom and dad are not relevant.” (Jason McGuire, legislative director for New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms)
Supporters of same-sex marriages dismiss that portrayal of their families. Same-sex married partner Mark Braiman Cazenovia said same-sex couples are allowed to adopt children in New York — so they also should be allowed to marry to provide protection and structure for their children.
“To say that same-sex marriage upsets children is bizarre to me. My siblings’ children don’t seem confused by it. Our son was fourteen when we met him. We were astounded that he chose us — a straight, fourteen-year-old boy wanted to be adopted by two gay men.” (Mark Braiman, same-sex married partner)
Braiman is a Syracuse University chemistry professor His spouse, Alan Stillman, is a social worker for Madison County. The couple celebrated an elaborate commitment ceremony in 2000. At first, they weren’t interested in legalizing their union. Then came the adoption of their foster son in 2003.
“Our decision to marry was more for our son. There would be more protection for him — our assets—if something were to happen to one of us. We already had health care proxies. But with making health care decisions, inheritance, we would be able to proceed easier if we could clearly be identified as a family.” (Mark Braiman, same-sex married partner)
Braiman and Stillman married in July 2004 in Ottawa.
Despite their polar stance on the issue, Mark Braiman and conservative activist Jason McGuire share one view: Both would rather have New Yorkers decide whether to legalize same-sex marriage instead of the courts.
Same-sex marriage opponent Jason McGuire:
“To simply keep going to the courts is not in society’s best interest. This is a democracy. Simply wait till the next election, add a proposition and let the people decide.” (Jason McGuire, legislative director of New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms)
Same-sex marriage supporter Mark Braiman:
“The legislature would be taking less heat from the public if they put it to a vote for a constitutional amendment giving same-sex couples the right. I think it would be popular enough among the people of New York to pass.” (Mark Braiman, same-sex married partner)
For Democracywise, I’m Leigh Paynter.
(Leigh Paynter is a broadcast journalism graduate student.)
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